The Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation has posted a portion of Tim Lane’s booklet, Family Feuds: How to Respond. The author summarizes his booklets with these words:
Christmas is coming and that means family get-togethers. But these celebrations are not always a picture postcard of family bliss. For some, these gatherings are dreaded and avoided when possible. Why is that? Why is it so hard to get along with the people you grew up with? Is there any hope that old, hurtful patterns can be changed? In this booklet, Tim Lane writes about these challenges and how through your relationship with Christ you can learn how to love your family and reach out to them in concrete and practical ways.
You can read the entire post by clicking HERE.
Lane challenges the reader to makes an honest assessment of the situation in your family:
If you have a hard time relating to your family, you have plenty of company. Many people have a difficult time dealing with the family they grew up in. Why is it so hard to get along with your family? Deep hurts from your childhood, unrealistic expectations, and old patterns resurfacing are just some of the reasons you might find yourself feuding with your family. Is it possible to love in the midst of these challenges? Yes, with God all things are possible (Matthew 19:26). Change begins with taking an honest look at your family and yourself, hearing what God has to say about your struggles, and then trusting Jesus to help you love in a difficult situation.
He then goes on to talk about several important truths:
- Every family is flawed
- Flawed families need God’s grace
- Your family of origin does not determine your identity
- God’s call to love includes your family
- Changed by the cross of Christ
Lane then draws our attention to the importance of Christ in the process of change:
Let’s talk more specifically about how Christ’s forgiving and enabling grace will help you love your family. What does loving your family look like when you are in the middle of a feud? How does the grace of Christ change us and what does that change look like?
He then gives some practical strategies for change:
- Respond with grace to your family
- Take responsibility for your sins, not your family’s
- Become an instrument of grace
- Make wise choices for your children
- Persevere in love
Lane offers a great deal of practical advice that is Christ centered so even if you have great family reunions you can learn some excellent principles that you can share with others …so why are you waiting!… read the entire post by clicking HERE.
