The bible’s teaching on mercy is clear. Until God’s kingdom comes and everything broken is restored, there will continue to be suffering. As long as God chooses to give sinners one more opportunity to repent, the distress of living in a fallen world will continue. That is why mercy is an essential ingredient of any godly relationship. Mercy is what we have received and what we are called to give. Mercy is my commitment to live alongside you in this broken world even though I will suffer with you, for you, and because of you. I will do everything I can to relieve your distress.

Mercy means you expect suffering in your relationships and are willing to endure it.
Mercy means you are willing to live with the poor.
Mercy means you resist the temptation to favoritism.
Mercy means you are committed to persevere in hardship.
Mercy rejects a “personal happiness” agenda.
Mercy means you live with a commitment to forgive.
Mercy means you overlook minor offences.
Mercy does not compromise what is morally right and true.
A commitment to mercy will reveal the treasures of your heart.

Pages 135-139 of Relationships: A Mess Worth Making by Tim Lane and Paul Tripp.

We are all hard to love
Learning to love difficult people starts with understanding that you  (like me) are hard to love too. You might not be difficult to love in the same way as those around you are, and you may not cause the same amount of relational damage; but on the inside, in your own way, you’re just as difficult to love as everyone else.

Just like those difficult people, you and I sin and go astray (Isaiah 53:6,  Romans 3:22 -23). It took Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross for God to welcome you and me into his family area God doesn’t love you because you make such a wonderful addition to its family; he loves you in spite of what you are like. And through his love for you, he changes you to be like himself. He makes you lovely, even though you didn’t start out lovely (2 Corinthians 5:17-1. You need exactly the same things from God — grace, mercy, kindness, and welcome — that others need from you.

If deep down you know you are lovable and God’s acceptance of you is completely undeserved, then you will have a welcoming attitude toward other unlovely people. But if you believe you’re basically a decent person who anyone would be privileged to know, then you won’t welcome others until they get their act together and become decent… just like you!

Learning the difficult skill of loving difficult people start asking God to show you how hard you are to love. When he answers your prayer, ask him to forgive you. Then because you have been forgiven for so much, you will be able to share the grace you have received with others (Luke 7:47)

from How to Love Difficult People: Receiving and Sharing God’s Mercy by William P. Smith

• How is the human will described?
• How does this prayer help us to examine the desires of our hearts?
• Who is ultimately behind every challenging circumstance? How might this reflect what we know about God’s sovereignty in Romans 8:28-30?
• Why are impatience and discouragement so dangerous?
• Who or what is the greatest threat we face?
• Where should we go in times of trial?

The Third Petition: Thy will be done equally in heaven and earth

What this means:

Compared with your will, ours is never good but always evil. Your will is at all times the best, to be cherished and desired above everything else. Therefore have mercy upon us, O dear Father, and let nothing happen just because it is our own will. Grant and teach us a deeply based patience in times when our will is prevented from happening or comes to nothing or when someone contradicts our will by what he says or does not say, does or leaves undone. Help us not to become angry or vexed, not to curse, complain, protest, condemn, disparage, or contradict [when what we will is not done]. Help us to yield humbly to our adversaries and those who obstruct our will, surrendering our own will. Help us to speak well of such adversaries, to bless them, and to do good to them as persons who are carrying out your best and godly purposes in contradiction to our own.

Grant us grace to bear willingly all sorts of sickness, poverty, disgrace, suffering, and adversity and to recognize that in this your divine will is crucifying our will. Help us also to endure injustice gladly and preserve us from taking revenge. Let us not repay evil with evil [Matthew 5:39; Romans 12:19-21] nor meet violence with violence, but rather let us rejoice that these things happen to us according to your will and so let us praise and give thanks to you [Matthew 5:11]. Let us not ascribe to the devil or to evil persons anything that happens contrary to our will, but solely ascribe this to your divine will which orders everything that may hinder our will in order to increase the blessedness of your kingdom. Help us to die willingly and gladly and readily accept death as your will so that we do not become disobedient to you through impatience or discouragement on our part.

Grant that we do not give our bodily members—eyes, tongue, heart, hands, and feet—free rein for what they desire or purpose, but make them captive to your will, bring them to a stop, and subdue them. Protect us from any kind of evil will— stubborn, stiff-necked, or obstinate. Grant us true obedience, a perfect, calm, single-minded composure in all things—spiritual, earthly, temporal, and eternal. Protect us from the horrible vice of character assassination, slander, backbiting, frivolously judging or condemning others, and misrepresenting what others have said. O hold far from us the plague and tragedy which such speech can cause; rather, whenever we see or hear anything in others that seems wrong or displeasing to us, teach us to keep quiet, not to publicize it, and to pour out our complaints to you alone and to commit all to your will. And let us sincerely forgive all who wrong us and be sympathetic toward them.

Teach us to recognize that no one can harm us without first harming himself a thousand times more in your eyes, so that we might thus be moved more to pity rather than to anger toward such a person, to commiserate with him rather than count up his wrongs. Whenever those who did not do our will or did us harm in their conduct or otherwise displeased us are struck with adversity, help us to refrain from rejoicing. Also help us not to be saddened by their good fortune.

To this petition belongs every psalm, verse, or prayer which petitions for help against sin and our foes.

Martin Luther, PERSONAL PRAYER BOOK 1522. Luther’s Works, Vol. 43 : Devotional Writings II, ed. Jaroslav Jan Pelikan, Hilton C. Oswald and Helmut T. Lehmann, Luther’s Works (Philadelphia: Fortress Press, 1999, c1968). 43:III-34.

Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point, which means, at the point of highest reality.

A chastity or honesty or mercy which yields to danger will be chaste or honest or merciful only on conditions.

Pilate was merciful till it became risky. (137-8)

Over the years we have been blessed to partner with the people at Transitional Living Center (TLC) in following Christ’s command to serve those who cannot repay us (Luke 14:12-15; Matthew 25:31-46)

Today I interviewed Nancy Hodge, the executive director of the Transitional Living Center in Burlington. Nancy also ministers as a deacon in the Episcopal Church (ECUSA) on the staff at St. John the Divine Episcopal Church in Burlington.

In this interview we find out about Nancy and her background in Waukesha politics, her call to serve as a deacon in the Episcopal Church, the mission of TLC, the guests they serve, and how local churches can assist in this ministry.

For more information about TLC and its ministry to the homeless please call the TLC office at 262.767.1478

He who shows kindness toward the poor has God as his guardian, and he who becomes poor for the sake of God will acquire abundant treasures. God is pleased when He sees people showing concern for others for His sake. When someone asks you for something, don’t think: “Just in case I might need it, I shall leave it for myself, and God — through other people — will give that person what he requires.” These types of thoughts are peculiar to people that are iniquitous and do not know God. A just and generous person would not compromise the honor of helping and relinquish it to another person, and he would never pass up an opportunity to help. Every beggar and every needy person receives the necessary essentials, because God doesn’t neglect anyone. But you, having sent away the destitute with nothing, spurned the honor offered to you by God and thereby, distanced yourself from His grace.

Through God’s providence, he who respects every person for God’s sake, privately acquires help from every human being.

St. Isaac of Syria

Tonight as I was out visiting I was blessed to relearn that full power of that great truth:

Go and learn what this means, ‘I desire mercy, and not sacrifice.’ For I came not to call the righteous, but sinners." Matthew 9:13

There are probably people quite close to you at this very moment who desperately need the mercy that the Holy Spirit wants to pour out through you. Rejoice that God has called you to such a ministry of mercy..just keep your eyes and ears open…and let that mercy flow!

I read a lot of books on marriage and one of the best I have ever come across is the recently published work by Dave Harvey entitled When Sinners Say “I Do”: Discovering the Power of the Gospel for Marriage. This is not really a book for someone who wants to learn better communication or problem solving techniques, although I am fairly certain that anyone who embraces the lessons of the book will end up communicating better and resolving differences in a more thoughtful manner. The strength of this book is that it focuses on how the Gospel of Jesus Christ can transform our lives and relationships.  In the book’s foreword Paul David Tripp when he writes,:

“This book grasps at the core drama of every married couple. This drama is no respecter of race, ethnic origin, location, or period of history. It is the one thing that explains the doom and hope of every human relationship. It is the theme that is on every page of this book in some way. What is this drama? It is the drama of sin and grace.”

One of my favorite quotes from the author focuses on mercy and forgiveness.

In the Bible, mercy weds the severe obligation of justice with the warmth of personal relationship. Mercy explains how a holy and loving God can relate to sinners without compromising who he is. God doesn’t thump his chest and parade this attribute, as if it’s unique to him but unattainable by us. He gives it to us freely, a gift to pass along. “Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful” (Luke 6:36). . . . This also raises some important questions for sinners who say “I do.” Do you know God as a God of mercy? Do you see your spouse as God sees him or her–through the eyes of mercy?

This book will be blessing to people at every stage of life..from singles to couples married for many years.

Read the Discerning Readers book review by clicking HERE.

You can order the book and find links to the table of contents, foreword, and preface in PDF format by clicking HERE

You can watch the author Dave Harvey summarize his book, chapter by chapter on YouTube by clicking HERE

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PS..For those who just want to learn communication and problem solving techniques I recommend that you go straight to the best martial researcher alive today, John Gottman, and read The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work or Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage. However, I want to remind you that we always need to hear the message of divine mercy.  Gottman may be able to teach you how to have a stable and happy marriage but you would still be lost in sin without the Gospel. Only God is able to bring our hearts alive: “And I (God) will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. Ezekiel 36:26

The next time find yourself in an unpleasant encounter with a needy person or one who is immersed in sin, or come to the realization that others are having an unpleasant encounter with you and your old sinful self (Romans 7:14-25), consider the Cross of Christ and the love of God that “flows forth and bestows good”. Pr. Dan

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Article 28:The love of God does not find, but creates, that which is pleasing to it. The love of man comes into being through that which is pleasing to it.

…….. the love of God which lives in man loves sinners, evil persons, fools, and weaklings in order to make them righteous, good, wise, and strong. Rather than seeking its own good, the love of God flows forth and bestows good. Therefore sinners are attractive because they are loved; they are not loved because they are attractive. For this reason the love of man avoids sinners and evil persons. Thus Christ says: “For I came not to call the righteous, but sinners” [Matt. 9:13]. This is the love of the cross, born of the cross, which turns in the direction where it does not find good which it may enjoy, but where it may confer good upon the bad and needy person.

Martin Luther

Martin Luther, THE HEIDELBERG DISPUTATION – 1518 Luther’s Works, Vol. 31 : Career of the Reformer I, ed. Jaroslav Jan Pelikan, Hilton C. Oswald and Helmut T. Lehmann, Luther’s Works (Philadelphia: Fortress Press, 1999, c1957). 31:IV-58.

My prayer life has been a little morose lately. I’ve spent a fair amount of time working with, thinking about, and praying for, some people who have fallen into grievous sin. This time spent dealing with sin has increased my awareness of my own sinfulness and the ways that any one person’s sins can reverberate into the lives of others with disastrous effects. Having spent a fair amount of time in the last month reflecting on 1st Peter I have also become more aware of the ways that I have failed to love and serve others, and how much more we can do as a congregation in terms of being a people of blessing. In the midst of all this I came across this quote from Martin Luther that brought my focus back to the mercy, and hope, we find in Christ. We never grow beyond the need to return to the Cross of Christ and I can testify that there is great mercy, and energy to serve, to be found there. I pray that you will be as blessed by this picture of grace as I have been. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

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Eleventh, you must not look at sin in sinners, or in your conscience, or in those who abide in sin to the end and are damned. If you do, you will surely follow them and also be overcome. You must turn your thoughts away from that and look at sin only within the picture of grace. Engrave that picture in yourself with all your power and keep it before your eyes. The picture of grace is nothing else but that of Christ on the cross and of all his dear saints.

How is that to be understood? Grace and mercy are there where Christ on the cross takes your sin from you, bears it for you, and destroys it. To believe this firmly, to keep it before your eyes and not to doubt it, means to view the picture of Christ and to engrave it in yourself. …. Christ himself exclaims in Matthew 11:28, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy-laden, and I will help you.” In this way you may view your sins in safety without tormenting your conscience. Here sins are never sins, for here they are overcome and swallowed up in Christ. He takes your death upon himself and strangles it so that it may not harm you, if you believe that he does it for you and see your death in him and not in yourself. Likewise, he also takes your sins upon himself and overcomes them with his righteousness out of sheer mercy, and if you believe that, your sins will never work you harm. In that way Christ, the picture of life and of grace over against the picture of death and sin, is our consolation. Paul states that in I Corinthians 15:57, “Thanks and praise be to God, who through Christ gives us the victory over sin and death.”

Martin Luther. A SERMON ON PREPARING TO DIE – 1519 , Luther’s Works, Vol. 42 : Devotional Writings I, ed. Jaroslav Jan Pelikan, Hilton C. Oswald and Helmut T. Lehmann, Luther’s Works (Philadelphia: Fortress Press, 1999, c 1969). 42:III-105.